


Blacktops and Bruised Hearts

by charstar782



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charstar782/pseuds/charstar782
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faberry kid fic, as they grow into teenagers. Quinn loves Rachel, Rachel loves Quinn. Doesn't mean Quinn will ever be able to accept it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> old old faberry story from ff.net...enjoy!

"Don't touch her!" Quinn shouted, pulling Puck away from Rachel by the shirt and shoving him to the ground. Rachel looked just as bewildered as Quinn felt when she realized what she'd just done.

"What the heck Q!" nine-year-old Puck yelped. "It was just gonna be a little kiss. Why do you even care?"

"I…don't," Quinn stammered, her face flushing. She was suddenly embarrassed, and Quinn Fabray did not get embarrassed. Santana saw the minute change in her face first and smirked as Quinn stepped forward.

"I don't," Quinn clarified, this time with more confidence. "I just wanted to be here to see it. Go ahead. Kiss Rachel, Puck."

Puck picked himself up off the ground, still slightly wounded, but gaining his confidence back as he stepped towards Rachel.

"Ever kissed a boy, Rachel?" Quinn asked mockingly, even though she already knew the answer. Hating herself for doing this, but not being able to stop.

Rachel whimpered slightly, trying to turn even farther away from the slightly taller boy in front of her. No, Rachel hadn't kissed a boy, nor did she really want to. She wanted to kiss this particular boy even less than the average boy, however – he had stupid hair and thought he was the coolest kid ever despite the fact that all he did was show off all the time which, although something Rachel could relate to on some level, she did not find appealing in a third grade boy.

No, Rachel had never kissed a boy. She'd never had any reason to, because the only person she'd ever wanted to kiss had golden hair falling in waves over her shoulders, and was currently smirking in her direction. Rachel was fairly sure she was the only one who could see the glimmer of pain behind the look Quinn was giving her.

"Puck, ew, get away from me!" Rachel squirmed as Puck got even closer, pushing against his shoulders as he leaned in. She didn't move fast enough though, and as she started to turn her face again, his lips collided with hers and Rachel Berry experienced the least enjoyable kiss a third grade boy could give. Or at least, that's what it felt like.

"Ow! You bruised my lip," Rachel screeched as Puck pulled away, victorious. Santana and Brittany high-fived as Puck ran back to his friends.

"Get over it, Berry. That's the last kiss you'll be getting for a LONG time, so just appreciate it," Santana scoffed and then linked pinkies with Brittany before walking away. Only Quinn stayed, looking unsure of what to do before suddenly grabbing the shorter girls' shoulder and steering her around the corner of the building.

"What are you…" Rachel tried to ask before Quinn shushed her and she shut up. When they were out of sight of the playground, Quinn softened her hold on Rachel and suddenly her Quinn was here. Her gentle, protective, loving Quinn. Her best friend.

"Let me look at your lip," Quinn commanded, but softly, and pulled Rachel's reluctant hand away from her mouth. "Not too bad. Jeez, boys suck."

"Yeah," Rachel mumbled, looking down. Quinn bit her lip and scuffed at the pavement with her foot.

"Rachel?" she asked finally, and Rachel looked up to see Quinn with a remorseful (she was proud to use her vocabulary, even in her head) look on her face.

"Yes?" Rachel sighed, knowing what was coming.

"I'm sorry," Quinn whispered, because she really, truly meant it.

"It's okay," Rachel replied, because that's what she always said. She leaned back against the wall, her hands clasped in front of her, wishing for the first time that Quinn would just go away and let her cry. Cry like she always wanted to when these things happened.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked again, and suddenly Rachel realized that Quinn was a lot closer than before. She could hear the shakiness of Quinn's breath when she took one of Rachel's hands and held it, taking one more step so her feet were touching Rachel's.

"Yes?" Rachel asked, afraid to look way. She was so confused and terribly hurt, but all she could think about was how she always wanted to be this close to Quinn. It made her feel good. It made her feel safe.

And suddenly Quinn's lips were on hers and Rachel froze, afraid to move, afraid to breathe. It was an innocent, barely-there kiss but it was a kiss, and that's what mattered to Rachel. And then Quinn was gone and Rachel was alone on the blacktop, staring at nothing and feeling everything as tears began to run slowly down her face.

...

After school, Rachel ran home. She didn't stop to wait for the crossing guard to usher her across the street, or when Mrs. Pillingston called hello to her in passing. Rachel sprinted on her little third-grade legs all the way back to her house where she sped up the stairs into her room before collapsing on the bed.

Quinn had kissed her. QUINN had kissed her. Did friends kiss on the lips? Rachel didn't think so. Why would she want to kiss Rachel anyway? Why had she shoved Puck to the ground? Why had she let Puck kiss her? Why did Rachel care?

After a good half hour of flailing around on her bed, thinking until her head hurt, the doorbell rang. Rachel shot up on her bed as she heard her Dad answer the door, and then quiet voices flowed up the stairs.

A few minutes later Quinn bounded into her room, throwing herself at Rachel and hugging her for all she was worth. When she suggested they play dress up all Rachel could do was nod, and it was instantly as if nothing had happened at all.

...


	2. Chapter2

When Rachel and Quinn entered seventh grade, an eighth grade boy named Tucker Prince told Rachel he liked her. He was dorky but cute, not quite as committed to school as her but President of the Drama Club, and therefore when he asked her to be his girlfriend she said yes. His popularity level was slightly higher than hers, and so when they became an item, Rachel's popularity went from less than low to just low. It was a strange improvement, and Quinn wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Well, that was a lie. She knew how she felt about it. She HATED it. Not that Rachel was slightly more poplar (all that really meant was that Quinn didn't have to sneakily threaten people who picked on Rachel behind her back quite as much), but she hated Tucker.

His face was too big, his eyes were too green, and he always wore the same stupid pair of black converse every day. Quinn would never mention the fact that she had bought the exact same pair the week before, but promptly thrown them into the depths of her closet after realizing she and Rachel's boyfriend matched.

They matched. What kind of sick joke was that?

Or, whatever. It's not like Quinn cared or anything.

...

When Quinn became the only seventh grader in the history of the middle school to become the captain of the cheerleading squad, strange things started happening to Tucker Prince.

On the Tuesday of Rachel and Tucker's one week anniversary (Rachel had made gold star bracelets for them to wear for the day), Tucker was minding his own business on the way to class when he found himself unceremoniously dumped into a nearby trashcan by three of the eighth grade football players. They said his sweater was threat to the school's mental and physical health.

For their one month anniversary, Tucker bought Rachel a hand designed mug that said "I love my boyfriend" with a picture of his beaming face on the side. Two days later it had mysteriously vanished from her locker, and although she'd never admit it, Rachel was mildly relieved. Not that she hadn't loved the mug. It was a very thoughtful gift, of course. Just a little bit…well, let's put it this way. The only person's face she thought should be plastered on dinnerware was her own - when she was a Broadway star, of course.

After three months, Tucker was used to bringing a change of clothes to school in case he was in the vicinity of trashcans, toilets or lunch trays and football players simultaneously. Strangely enough he still hadn't hit the label "outcast" yet due to his pull with the Drama Club and his MILDY (Quinn relented to herself while glaring at him during math class) charming personality. Damn him and his perfect hair.

...

Rachel came home after theatre practice on a Monday to find Quinn sitting primly on her bed. She was in her Cheerios uniform, her face still flushed from practice. Rachel came to an abrupt halt, almost running into the door frame in surprise. Once she'd caught her breath she entered her room, flattening her skirt nervously as she went.

"Hello, Quinn," she said quietly, going to set her bag down at her desk.

"Stop seeing Tucker."

Rachel spun around, startled once again.

"What?"

"Stop seeing him," Quinn repeated, but this time instead of demanding it, to Rachel it sounded more like she was pleading. Her Quinn was back.

"Why?" Rachel asked softly.

"I don't like him," Quinn muttered, avoiding Rachel's eyes. "He's weird."

"He's not weird, Quinn, he's a perfect gentleman. I enjoy spending time with him, and contrary to popular belief your opinion isn't going to just change that," Rachel sniffed, sitting down in her own chair. She wrinkled her nose slightly. "Although I don't understand why he keeps ending up in trashcans."

At this point Quinn looked up, ignoring Rachel's last comment. "But I'm you're best friend."

"My secret best friend," Rachel whispered, but Quinn heard her before Rachel raised her voice again. "At least Tucker isn't afraid to talk to me in front of the rest of the world. He isn't afraid to let everyone know that he cares about me."

Quinn knew it was true, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"I still care," she said softly, glancing at Rachel before looking away again. Rachel felt the familiar nauseating feeling she got every time Quinn looked at her like that starting to creep up. She tried to push it away. Tucker. Tucker cared about her.

When Rachel didn't respond, Quinn stood up in a huff.

"Ever since you started dating him, it's like I don't matter anymore!" she growled, starting to pace angrily next to Rachel's bed.

"That's ridiculous," Rachel shot back before she could stop herself.

Quinn stopped short. "What?"

"Nothing."

"What'd you say, Berry," Quinn demanded, and suddenly Rachel broke.

"You always matter, Quinn! And I wouldn't be afraid to show it, but ever since we've been six it's like I'm your dirty little secret!" she spat, out of nowhere suddenly close to tears. Suddenly she was back at recess, behind the school on the blacktop. All she wanted was to feel Quinn's arms around her. She wanted to feel safe. Loved. She wanted to kiss Quinn again like that day in the third grade.

Rachel shook her head violently at the thought. No, she couldn't want that.

"Shut up!" Quinn shouted.

"Why? So you can make fun of me more? So you can laugh at me and be popular while everyone thinks I'm nothing? So you can have boys all over you but I can't?" Rachel cried.

"Because I love you!" Quinn burst out, and then promptly slapped her hands over her mouth. She couldn't believe she'd just said that. This was not how this was supposed to go.

Rachel's mouth snapped shut, and once again all she could do was stare.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rachel blinked.

"Quinn…" she started, but Quinn's hand flew out.

"Break up with him," she said, her voice so calm it was eerie, "or I'll never speak to you again."

There was silence for what seemed like hours. Quinn couldn't breathe. If she moved a muscle, she would fall apart. When she heard Rachel finally move to stand, she willed herself to look up.

"No."

And Quinn walked out. She walked out without looking back, without letting a single one of the tears in her eyes fall; without kissing the girl she'd been in love with since she knew what the word meant.

...


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of seventh grade was a blur for Quinn. One big blur of schoolwork, church, her new role as captain of the Cheerios, boys, friends, and Rachel. Rachel, Rachel and more Rachel. Not that they saw each other much anymore. Rachel avoided Quinn like the plague, and it would be a lie if Quinn said she didn't do the same. Despite her efforts, however, no matter what she was doing, her former best friend was always in the back of her mind.

And every time she thought of her, Quinn tried to remember how much she hated her.

...But she didn't.

She tried to get distracted by the boys who liked her, like all of her friends were. Santana was all over Puck, who once entering puberty had decided he was a total badass. Brittany went after any male who moved. Quinn finally went on her first date with a boy named James, an eighth grader on the football team. Sure, he was cute and brought her a flower, but as hard as she tried, Quinn just wasn't interested. When he awkwardly kissed her goodnight on her front porch, Quinn barely managed to suppress a shudder and quickly ran inside when he pulled away.

Her mother, who had been watching from the window, cheerily called up the stairs to ask how the movie was, but all Quinn could manage was a small, "fine!" Judy shook her head to herself, smiling at what she assumed was her daughter's reluctance to share the details of her first date. In Quinn's room, however, it was another story completely.

She tried not to cry, but that only made it worse. Instead she lay on her bed, tears slipping out of her eyes as she stared at the ceiling. Far up above her was a pattern of multicolored stars, which after some reluctance, her parents had allowed her to put up in her otherwise pristine room. Using a ladder under the supervision of Caitlin, Quinn's older sister, she and Rachel had decorated Quinn's ceiling for her ninth birthday. Careful planning had gone into the design on Rachel's part, obsessively planning out constellations and other designs while Quinn looked on in amusement. It took almost an entire afternoon during which Caitlin fell asleep on Quinn's bed and Rachel fell off the ladder – twice – but it was one of the best birthday's Quinn had ever had. Yes, she had still had her annual party where everyone in the class was invited and Rachel simply hovered in the background, but spending the following afternoon with her best friend painstakingly sticking stars to the ceiling was all Quinn wanted to remember.

That night Rachel had slept over, after leaving the lights in Quinn's room on all afternoon and evening until it was time for bed. Both girls rushed to get ready, giggling as they struggled to yank on pajamas as quickly as possible. Rachel managed to trip on hers – they were too long, a sight that only made Quinn smile despite herself. It wasn't long before the lights were off and both girls were snuggled into Quinn's full sized bed, admiring their work.

"Well, I have to say, I think my research on constellations certainly paid off," Rachel nodded affirmatively, beaming at her handiwork on the ceiling above. Quinn sighed, studying the way each constellation had it's own color and seemed to sparkle in the sky above. A pattern she hadn't seen before suddenly caught her eyes, and she reached out to tap Rachel on the arm.

"What's that one?" she asked, pointing at the purple clump of stars towards the head of the bed.

"Oh," Rachel said, her voice becoming softer. "That one's for us."

Quinn squinted, looking closer. And so it was. With some of the smallest stars in the pack, Rachel had made an "R" and a "Q", framed by a pattern forming another, larger star.

"Just so you never forget," Rachel spoke again, her voice trailing off.

For a second Quinn felt like she wanted to cry, but she had no idea why.

Quietly, she rolled over until her face was right next to Rachel's. In the dark, Quinn could see her best friend's face was set, all of her features harder than normal and a determined look in her sad eyes.

Quinn softly took one of Rachel's hands in her own, and only then did Rachel allow herself to turn to face Quinn again.

"I'll never forget," Quinn replied quietly, and Rachel smiled softly before closing her eyes. They fell asleep holding hands, and Quinn wishing that nothing would ever change as she succumbed to sleep.

The memory hit Quinn like a ton of bricks. The stars, that night, the days when Rachel and Quinn could just be Rachel and Quinn and there were no boys to get in the way. What was wrong with her? She was supposed to like boys. Not be obsessed with thinking about Rachel. Who happened to be, by the way, a girl.

That night, for the first night in five years, Quinn padded softly down the hall to her older sister's room. She stopped in the doorway, pushing the door slightly ajar.

Caitlin sleepily rolled over and peered at her little sister. "What's up, munchkin?"

"Can I sleep in here?" Quinn whispered, close to tears once again but holding them back. She didn't cry in front of anyone anymore. She was stronger than that.

"Yea, sure, come on in," Caitlin moved over and Quinn quickly climbed under the covers, snuggling up next to her sister.

They lay in silence for a while, Quinn listening to the soft in and out pattern of Caitlin breathing.

"If this has anything to do with that boy, forget about him. Boys suck," Caitlin whispered drowsily.

Quinn started, not expecting the statement, but then giggled slightly. If only her sister knew how much she agreed with that sentence. She sighed, curling tighter into herself, wishing for sleep to come and trying to stop wondering what it would've been like if it had been Rachel kissing her on the porch, with the real stars shining above them.

...


	4. Chapter 4

It was the third day of eighth grade, and she could've sworn Quinn had just smiled at her. It was gone in an instant though, and it was an instant too short for Rachel to figure out whether it had actually happened or not.

Rachel and Tucker had finally broken things off. Upon Tucker's move to the high school, the star couple had decided it would be best to simply remain friends rather than test their relationship long distance. The split had been amicable, to say the least. Rachel was pretty sure she'd seen Tucker skip away from her house the day the ended their relationship.

In all honesty, she was almost positive he was gay. A distinct lack of interest in intimate affairs with her, a sufficient amount of fan-girling about Patrick Dempsey, and the way he looked at one of the other leads in the school musical had slowly but surely given him away. Most of their dates ended in closed lip kisses that lasted mere seconds before Tucker would hug her and then leave.

Rachel might have been offended if she hadn't been so pleased with the arrangement. It wasn't hard to fake liking someone else when they became your new best friend. What you did behind closed doors no one had to know about but the two of you.

Which honestly, wasn't much.

When Quinn disappeared around the corner, Rachel groaned and turned to bang her head against the nearest locker. Now people were staring. Great.

If only she knew Quinn didn't like her. If only the head cheerleader had held down a boyfriend for more than five seconds so Rachel knew she truly had gotten over her or didn't like girls. If only she could stop thinking about the blond for more than five minutes once in a while.

If only she weren't so ridiculously gorgeous.

"SHUT UP!" Rachel burst out at herself, and now people had actually stopped in the hallway and were giving her questioning looks. Oh lord.

Trying to push the thoughts away, Rachel straightened her skirt, rearranged her books and in complete Rachel Berry form exited the hallway, head held high. Maybe today would be the day. Maybe today she would forget about Quinn Fabray.

...

Two years later, not much had changed. Rachel had failed miserably in forgetting about Quinn…and Quinn had done anything but forget about Rachel. Needless to say, the last year in particular had been absolutely miserable for Quinn.

Why? Because Rachel Berry had finally started to grow a modest figure. And by modest, Quinn really meant simply gorgeous.

Surprisingly, it seemed Rachel was uncomfortable with her new look. Shy, almost. Nothing even remotely revealing was ever worn to school, and of the few times Quinn saw Rachel around town the most shocking article of clothing she had on was a v-neck. Quinn was also pretty sure that when Rachel caught sight of her she had blushed, and she most definitely had zipped her hoodie up higher.

Lord. She was living in a nightmare. A nightmare of sideways glances, strange longings, and a far too adult looking Rachel.

Quinn was reading a magazine and dozing off at the pool one afternoon in the summer before sophomore year when she spotted a short, dark haired girl stand up from her chair and head towards the water. For a second she thought it might be Rachel before smirking and shaking her head.

Rachel would never be caught dead wearing that.

Curiosity getting the better of her, Quinn decided couldn't pass up the chance to steal a peak at what seemed to be a very attractive brunette, however.

Except wait.

Oh holy – woah.

She was headed towards Quinn, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the blonde was there. Or that she was gaping full-out in Rachel's direction. Or that she had drawn the attention of at least three other people (males, however…Quinn almost growled at the though of anyone else looking at her that way.) on her trip from one end of the pool to the other.

Rachel Berry was…well, to channel Puck, mother fucking hot as hell.

The white stars that covered her red two-piece stood out in the hot sun, and Quinn literally couldn't take her eyes away. Before she knew what she was doing, she had dropped her magazine and standing up directly in Rachel's path.

Rachel almost tripped over herself as she stopped suddenly at Quinn's appearance.

"Oh. Hello, Quinn," Rachel stuttered. Stuttered? Since when did Rachel Berry stutter?

"Um…hi," Quinn mentally berated herself for not pulling it together. It was Rachel. Rachel Berry. The girl she'd known since she was six years old. Who cares if she was wearing a bikini? Seriously. Who. Even. Cared.

"How's…your summer going?" Rachel asked hesitantly, as if she weren't sure whether she wanted to keep talking to Quinn or not.

"It's…it's good. You know. Sunny. And stuff…" Quinn mumbled. WHAT? Sunny? Of all the adjectives in the entire world, that one probably made the least sense.

And since when did Quinn start making such dramatic statements while rambling to herself in her head?

It might've been the fact that Quinn was trying not to blush, or the way the light glared off the water, or even how the sun shone on Rachel's hair just so, but Quinn didn't see the little boy run past them and slam into Rachel as he went by until it was too late. Way too late for her to consider moving out of the way as Rachel yelped and then fell towards her, smashing into Quinn with such force that Quinn was almost glad they had the water behind them to catch them as they fell.

Almost.

Quinn hit the water first, going in backwards with Rachel falling into her as they went down. Spluttering, Quinn surfaced and grasped for the side of the pool to steady herself. Rachel came up choking and as disoriented as she was, Quinn immediately grabbed her former best friend's arm and helped her over to the side where Rachel clung to Quinn as she tried to stop coughing.

When she could finally breathe again, their close proximity immediately became apparent. Rachel had her arms around Quinn who was holding her close with one arm while supporting them against the wall with the other.

Her legs had also somehow wrapped themselves around Quinn's left leg that was facing away from the wall.

And for the first time in her life, when Quinn actually registered how Rachel's body felt against her, she was incredibly, unquestionably turned on.

Shit.

"Uhhhh…" was the sound that came out of Quinn's mouth when she realized how hot she suddenly was. Rachel seemed to realize what had happened at that point and instantly pulled away. Quinn also registered for the first time what true frustration felt like as Rachel's body lost contact with hers.

"I'm so, so sorry," Rachel protested furiously, moving even farther away from Quinn before reaching the ladder and climbing it as quickly as possible.

"Rachel…" Quinn whispered softly to herself, trying to regain control of what was going on in her head. How badly she wanted to feel like she just had a few seconds ago. How she had never felt like that for anyone before. How much she missed Rachel's presence in her life in general. How ridiculous it was that falling into a pool had been what made her finally have to recognize that.

Which was when she finally registered that Rachel was practically running towards her towel, a very distraught look on her face.

No. Not this time.

"Rachel!" Quinn belted, hoisting herself up onto the side of the pool, ignoring the fact that half the population of the pool was staring at her for the third time in the last ten minutes.

Rachel spared her a glance backwards before pulling her short on, slamming her feet into her shoes and taking off.

"Shit," Quinn hissed. Clothes. Where were her clothes?

Forget it. Clothes were not important right now.

...Quinn didn't miss the irony of that statement.

She managed to spot her shoes, which she grabbed and then walked as quickly as possibly across the slippery poolside to get to the split in the fence where Rachel had disappeared.

The brunette had just gotten to the edge of the street when Quinn managed to finally catch sight of her.

"RACHEL BERRY, DO NOT MOVE," Quinn yelled and Rachel jumped, spinning around as Quinn came sprinting towards her.

"What Quinn, what do you want?" Rachel cried in frustration, and it was only then that Quinn realized she had started to cry.

"Come with me," Quinn demanded, dropping her shoes on the ground and stepping into them.

Rachel looked like she was about to protest but when Quinn's hand fell into hers, she seemed to lose all her fight and Quinn swiftly pulled her down the sidewalk towards her house.

...

"Where are we going?" Rachel demanded for the third time as Quinn struggled through some particularly dense branches. They were in the very small amount of woods behind Quinn's house, Quinn fervently yanking at brush and branches before she lost her nerve completely.

"I said, you'll see!" Quinn replied as she gave up moving a particular obnoxious branch and simply snapped it in half. "Okay. We're here."

Rachel huffed and stepped over the final branches Quinn held down for her before looking around.

Oh. Here.

It was a warm summer afternoon, and the sun shown down through the leaves in patches. The grass in the tiny clearing was barely big enough for two people to lie down in, but Rachel finally realized where they were.

"I completely forgot about this," she said, her voice hushed as she looked around. There on the ground were a few forgotten tea cups, along with some small rocks stacked up in an arrangement behind Quinn on the ground. She and Quinn had come here in kindergarten to hide sometimes when they didn't want Rachel to go home after a playdate. Their parents would all pretend they couldn't find them, even though it was easy to catch a glimpse of two girls through the thin trees hiding the patch for view.

"I didn't," Quinn was quiet as Rachel's eyes came back to rest on Quinn. She finally looked up and her heart broke all over again when she saw the disappointment in Rachel's eyes. "I told you I'd never forget."

Rachel's eyes softened ever so slightly, and Quinn suddenly became very aware that she was in only a bathing suit while Rachel had managed to pull on a very uncharacteristic tank top and a pair of gym shorts even in her haste to leave the pool.

Quinn blushed when Rachel caught her staring and looked down at her toes, biting her lip in embarrassment. This had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she didn't know what in the world to do. Why had she brought them here? Because after all this time, she wanted Rachel to herself again. Because she thought this spot would…what?

This time it was Rachel who stepped forward, moving so that her bare toes were touching Quinn's. Quinn's head shot up when she realized what was happening, her eyes widening in surprise. Rachel didn't miss the look over fear that graced quickly over Quinn's features before disappearing, despite Quinn's effort to contain it.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked, and Quinn realized she had stopped breathing.

"Yes?" she whispered, not daring to take her eyes away from Rachel's.

"Do you love me?"

Without hesitation, Quinn nodded gently.

The kiss Rachel planted on her lips was so faint that Quinn wasn't sure it had happened. When she opened her eyes however, the look in Rachel's eyes told her it most definitely had.

So she kissed Rachel for the second time in her life, as sure of it this time as she had been the first.

Kissing Rachel wasn't anything like kissing boys. Kissing boys felt kinda alright.

But kissing Rachel? Kissing Rachel felt like her entire world had been turned upside down.

By the way Rachel gasped as Quinn's tongue suddenly entered her mouth, it was pretty clear she felt the same way.

When Quinn reached for her hips, Rachel didn't hesitate before moving as close to the blonde as physically possible. And when it registered that Quinn was against her wearing…well, not much, Rachel almost moaned.

Almost.

Until Quinn moved from Rachel's mouth to a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. There was definite moaning after that. It was only when Quinn started to pull Rachel's shirt off that she froze.

"Wait," Rachel panicked, pulling away.

"What?" Quinn asked, breathing heavily and trying to keep herself from attacking Rachel.

"I'm not…I'm just wearing a bathing suit," Rachel mumbled.

Quinn looked confused. "Um. Hello. Look at me."

"No but, I mean…I'm not pretty like you," Rachel whispered this time, looking down at the ground.

Quinn's jaw almost hit the floor. "What? Rachel. You're…you're really hot."

Rachel's head snapped up so fast Quinn thought she had pulled something. "Me? No."

"Yes," Quinn said, blushing slightly before regaining her confidence and stepping into Rachel's space again. Taking a hold of the sides of Rachel's shirt, she smiled back at Rachel's shocked look. "Yes. Very hot."

Rachel's look turned again to one of embarrassment as Quinn pulled gently but firmly until the shirt was up over Rachel's head and then onto the ground. Despite her reluctance Quinn had also started kissing her again, though, and all coherent thoughts were starting to fly out the window.

"Can I…" Quinn's breathing was heavy as she pulled away slightly to ask the question. Rachel opened her eyes to see Quinn's hand hovering over one star covered breast.

"Um…" Rachel was nervous, but to be honest…she really, really wanted to feel Quinn's hand on her. All for her. "Okay."

A few seconds later, coherent thought was so far gone it was like it had never existed at all.

...


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn lay in bed that night, her mind racing.

She had made out with Rachel Berry for almost two hours that afternoon.

That was the longest she'd ever made out with anyone.

That was the only time she'd ever wanted to make out with someone for that long. Or wanted to make out with at all.

That was probably an important distinction, you idiot, she berated herself silently before groaning and violently flipping over onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow.

Alright. Despite being wildly out of control of the situation, what did you know about it?, Quinn thought to herself frantically.

So she was attracted to Rachel. That wasn't really news - she was pretty sure that had been established when they were ten, even if she didn't really know what the feeling was at the time.

Then there was the fact that she and Rachel weren't friends anymore. They were barely even acquaintances anymore, after what had happened two year previously.

Which was Quinn's fault.

But not really. Rachel had wanted to be with that infantile little brat back then. She didn't even want to be with Quinn.

Even as she formulated the thought, Quinn knew it was a lie.

In the back of her mind, Quinn knew that if she'd been willing to be openly friendly to Rachel, just friendly and nothing else, she would've broken up with Tucker on the spot. She knew it by the way Rachel used looked at her when she thought no one could see, or by the way she always touched Quinn just a little bit more than necessary when they were together. By how when they bought dresses together for their first real dance in sixth grade (Quinn lied and told Santana and Brittany that she went with her mom…she then had her mother drive her and Rachel to the mall two towns over so they wouldn't bump into the two cheerleaders. Rachel didn't ask questions), Rachel's mouth had fallen open slightly and her eyes had widened just a little bit more than necessary before catching herself and quietly telling Quinn she looked simply beautiful.

It wasn't like she hadn't tried to ignore it. Maybe if she'd been able to, none of this would've had to happen. But like all things regarding Rachel, Quinn didn't usually get what she wanted.

She couldn't ignore the way she felt when she caught Rachel looking at her that way. When she wanted Rachel's touch to linger a little bit longer, or the way her face got hot when Rachel had stared at her in her dress and she had to run into the dressing room to hide it.

How she burst into silent tears behind the curtain and had to quickly clear her throat to tell Rachel when she asked that she'd be out in a second when the feelings didn't go away. Back in middle school she still didn't understand what it meant – back then it was terrifying.

But now she did.

She was freaking head over heels in love with Rachel Berry, and there was no way in hell that was going away any time soon.

So much for a relaxing summer break.

...

Rachel had arrived home after her afternoon with Quinn and promptly threw up in the bathroom.

How was this happening?

Although she managed to walk calmly away from Quinn and her backyard with only a slightly wavering smile on her face, as soon as she was out of sight she fled. Her trip home was similar to a certain afternoon in third grade after receiving a similar kiss from a blond girl.

Except this time, her best friend wasn't there to stop her from panicking as she lay on her bed, worn out from the afternoon and being sick in the bathroom for the last ten minutes.

Because she didn't have a best friend anymore.

Quinn had abandoned her years ago.

Rachel promptly slapped herself in the face with a pillow at this realization. She'd worked so hard for so long to get Quinn out of her mind. Not that it had worked, but she'd at least gotten used to the fact that Quinn was no longer a part of her life.

And now what had happened?

Quinn Fabray had grabbed her and pulled her into some bushes to make out.

Even in her head it sounded insane.

Rachel sat up with a start. What if she had made it all up? What if she'd wanted it so badly that she'd imagined it all? What if she was just perpetually insane? Everything, the pool, Quinn's backyard, Quinn's lips…had been complete figments of her imagination created out of a pure need to be with the girl who'd captured her heart years ago…

But she remembered Quinn's hands on her waist. Quinn's fingers in her hair. The way her eyebrow quirked up when Rachel kissed just the right spot on her neck.

Nope. It was definitely not in her head.

And it had been amazing.

But that wasn't the problem. Of course she and Quinn had chemistry – Rachel scoffed at herself, she'd known that for years – but Quinn wasn't about to do anything about that.

Except that she just had.

Why did the one person who she needed to understand more than anyone have to be the most difficult one to figure out?

After considering eating the entire carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in her freezer and then probably feeling more nauseous than before, Rachel reconsidered her options. Instead of wallowing in self pity, she decided, she was going to find out if this time was different.

Maybe this time, Quinn Fabray wouldn't be such a idiot about the girl she was in love with.

...

Bbbbbuzzzz.

The unexpected text the next morning made Quinn yelp and knock her phone of the bedside table when she made a grab for it. She'd been laying in bed for the better part of the day thinking about - no surprise - Rachel.

"Quinnie, dear, are you alright?" her mother asked as she was passing the room. "Speaking of which…it's almost noon, were you planning on getting up today at all…?"

"Yes, Mom, I'll be down in a few minutes," Quinn grumbled, halfway off her bed with her arm underneath it searching for her phone. Where the heck did that stupid thing…

Quinn jerked up and smacked her head on the table when the phone suddenly started ringing a few inches from her face.

"WHAT Puckerman," she growled into the phone, rubbing her head and falling back against the pillows.

"Jeez, chill girl, I was just calling to ask if you were still planning on coming tonight. Santana stopped by your house yesterday afternoon on her way home from Brittany's, but you weren't home, and Finn said he tried to call yesterday but you didn't pick up. People were starting to wonder if you were dead," Puck commented.

"No, of course I'm not de– she WHAT?" Quinn sat up with a start before wincing and leaning back again at the shooting pain in her head.

"She…what? Santana went by your house... have you been drinking?" Puck replied, suddenly sounding suspicious. "Without me?"

"No, you moron! Did… did she…see…anything out of the ordinary…?" Quinn tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible. Please dear god tell me you can't see those bushes from my front door.

"Well, now that you mention it, she did say she saw your Mom in her room through that window she always keeps partway open…..wait. Nevermind, that was me," he corrected himself with what sounded like a smirk behind his words.

"Puck. You're a creep. Yes, I'll see you tonight, alright?" Quinn replied with a sigh as she made a mental note to remind her mother to close the blinds more carefully.

"Alright, later." He hung up with a click that hung in the silence, as Quinn once again began to get lost in her thoughts.

Oh, right, the text.

Quinn flipped open her phone, expecting to see an annoyed message from Santana.

Instead, a number she'd long ago erased from her phone but that had been permanently ingrained into her memory hovered in front of her face.

Busy tonight?

Oh, shit.

Quinn cursed every god she could think of as her foot got caught in the sheets in her frantic attempt to get out of bed while simultaneously calling Puck back to say she was terribly sorry (hah) but would not be attending the party that night.

Why?

Because she was pretty sure she had a date with the hottest girl in the world.

...


	6. Chapter 6

Calm down.

Just breath.

Walking in the door of the restaurant is not going to cause your immediate death.

Quinn wasn't quite as able to convince herself of that last thing as she wanted to.

Her hair was pulled back into a neat but not Cheerio-style ponytail, with the loose hair in curls touching her back. It was cool outside so she'd worn a dark blue cardigan over her top, with light blue jeans that hung low on her waist as she stood outside Breadsticks waiting for Rachel.

Peering around the corner, Quinn couldn't see Rachel anywhere in sight. The only people in the actual restaurant were an old couple off in the corner. Why had she let Rachel pick the time again? Five o'clock was NOT a sufficient date time.

Unless you were those two young'ins stopping by for an early bird supper.

Lord.

"Quinn!"

Quinn spun around so fast she managed to hit herself in the face with her ponytail.

"Hi – plllp – er…hi, Rachel," Quinn finally managed to get out, a blush rising in her cheeks. "You're here."

"You seem surprised," Rachel noted, standing primly before Quinn, her arms folded in front of her chest. She was wearing a blue argyle sweater with a matching light blue skirt. Quinn fleetingly realized they matched.

"Well…I thought you might decide to stand me up," Quinn shrugged with attempted nonchalance that both girls knew she was faking.

"That wouldn't be proper, Quinn. Inviting someone to dinner and then not showing up for the da—not that this is a date, or anything. No. Just two people meeting for dinner," Rachel was becoming flustered herself. Damn that girl and her perfect blond hair and perfectly smooth face and perfect everything else…

"Rachel," Quinn's firm tone snapped Rachel out of her continued ramble which had turned into something about how the bird on the sign next to the restaurant had no right to sit there and stare at them so intensely…even though Quinn had to admit, it was creeping her out. Regardless, Quinn was losing more and more of her self-confidence and composure by the second, and two panicking girls trying to order food was not what anyone needed right now. "Are you ready to go in?"

"What? Oh, yes. Let's go in. Come on, Quinn," Rachel sniffed and then lead the way inside, with Quinn rolling her eyes behind her with what could only be considered fondness behind them.

...

Quinn was already nervous, but Rachel's choice of seating didn't help matters at all.

Now that she was inside, at a table by the window where people could actually see her with Rachel, Quinn was starting to panic. Hardcore panic.

"Quinn, you're sweating," Rachel had a slight frown of concern on her face as Quinn nervously set her fork down to clutch her napkin in her lap to keep her hands from shaking.

"What? Me? No. I'm just…perspiring," Quinn hastened to wipe at her forehead before setting her slightly shaking hand back in her lap.

"…That means the same thing," Rachel was squinting at her now. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yes, Rachel, I'm fine," Quinn emphasized the last word a little bit more harshly than she'd intended and mentally slapped herself. God damn it. You weren't going to do this tonight, Fabray.

And now she slapped herself again for cursing god.

She looked up hesitantly to gauge Rachel's reaction, expecting to find hurt etched on her face. Quinn even began to open her mouth to uncharacteristically apologize, but was instead shocked to find a glimmer of a look of…was that validation?...on Rachel's face.

"What?" she snapped, picking her fork back up and stabbing into her lettuce. That look of confidence on Rachel face had freaked her out. Why? She didn't know.

You're such a liar, Quinn, you know exactly why.

Why?

Because it scares you to let someone else have any kind of power over you. Even the person you wanted more than anything else you'd never had in your entire life.

But now? Now she was flustered and pissed.

And unfortunately for Rachel, those two emotions together equaled bitch-Quinn mode. In overdrive.

"I knew it," Rachel shot back, dropping her fork with a clang. Quinn almost missed her mouth with her fork but managed to keep it in check, setting it back down again.

"Knew what, Berry?" she smirked, folding her hands on the table.

"That this would happen," Rachel responded, waving to the waiter who was a few tables away. He nodded at her and she turned back to Quinn. "That as soon as you got over whatever this…thing was, you'd go right back to being the Head Bitch."

Quinn started at hearing Rachel swear – she didn't think she'd ever heard her utter a bad word, ever, let alone in relation to her – but resumed her signature smirk almost immediately.

"And you're naturally the expert on everything, aren't you?" she hissed, leaning forward, hating herself but loving the fear that passed across Rachel's face too quickly to truly see. "Smart, gold star Rachel…no one could know more than her."

"That's not what I said, Quinn," Rachel was glaring now. "I'm just saying that I expected this, and I was right. I didn't get my hopes up and now I'm glad I didn't because I was right."

"About what, dwarf," Quinn growled quietly.

"About the fact that the second we went somewhere in public, where people could see that you didn't openly hate me twenty-four seven, that you would panic. You'd hide how you really felt, like you always have, and go back to trying to destroy me," Rachel handed over some cash to the waiter before snapping, "keep the change" and going to stand but Quinn grabbed her arm and forcefully yanked her back into her seat.

"You're so full of yourself," Quinn burst out as soon as Rachel had regained contact with the chair. "Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think this is simple and un-confusing and effortless? Because it's not. I haven't been happier in the last eight years than I have been for the past twenty four hours because all I could think about was you and how something had finally, finally gone right for me with you."

"QUINN. Something's finally gone right for you? Are you blind? Everything goes right for you, and it always has! Even when we stopped being friends, all you had to do was turn around and there were more. Me, on the other hand? I was left alone to sit in my room and cry every night because I lost the one person I thought was my other half," Rachel cried. She was in tears now. The old couple in the corner was staring, but Quinn was pretty sure they were too deaf to hear what was going on. She herself was too caught up in the feeling of her heart breaking to care anyway. She couldn't take that anymore.

"Rachel, Rachel stop!" Quinn suddenly shouted and stood up with a crash as her chair hit the floor.

Everything inside her was telling her to run. She was starting to get the familiar urge to flee that she always did when she felt like she was losing control. Yell an angry, spiteful comment and get out before it hurt too much…or someone hurt you.

But it always hurt just as much later.

"I. Love you." Quinn gritted out through clenched teeth and tears that were building up behind her eyes. She stepped closer to the silently sobbing brunette and took her shoulders in her hands. "I have always, and will always love you. But it's not black and white. We don't just get what we want."

Rachel lifted her head and red eyes met ones filled with unshed tears.

"But it is, Quinn," she said softly. Almost like she didn't hate her. "It is black and white, if you really did love me."

And with that she pulled away, picked up her purse, and left Quinn crying at the table. Quinn didn't leave until the manager came out to ask her what was wrong because customers were starting to ask about the girl in the corner sobbing into a bowl of salad.

And who was there to pounce on her the second she walked out the door? Only one Santana Lopez.

Boy, would Sue Sylvester be proud of her for this.

...


	7. Chapter 7

Quinn couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Santana so smug.

Despite her valiant attempts to wrench her arm away from the tall Latina, it had been to no avail. Santana was still marching down the sidewalk with such purpose that people were turning to stare…and all Quinn could do was continue to be dragged along like a small child.

"Santana, seriously, get OFF me!" Quinn hissed as they neared the other Cheerio's car.

"Not until you tell me exactly what's going on, Fabray," Santana finally halted her strut and Quinn smashed into the side of her with a grunt of frustration.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Quinn finally yanked her arm away and folder her arms crossly across her chest.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb. You and the midget. All up on each other in the bushes? They don't hide you as well as they did when you were five, Quinn."

At the mention of "all up on each other" Quinn's mouth had promptly fallen open. She'd done nothing to remedy the situation and so she proceeded to stand there and stare as Santana pulled out her keys.

"See?" Santana grinned and then pulled open Quinn's door. "Hop in blondie."

Quinn finally came back to life and started spluttering. "That's ridiculous. Whatever you think you saw, clearly, was not…anything…nothing, I don't know what you think you saw – "

"QUINN!" Santana cut Quinn's ramble short. "Get in the car. Now. I don't care about you and Berry. I mean, yes of course I care, but like…whatever. Although when I originally yanked you out of that restaurant I had every intention of telling Sylvester…but if you get in and just talk to me, maybe I'll reconsider. Now get. In. The car."

"WHAT?" Quinn yelped. "Don't even think about it, bi – "

"CALLING ME NAMES is not going to help your case, Q! Now get the hell in!" Santana slammed her hand on the roof of the car for emphasis.

And for once in her life, Quinn did what Santana asked her to do.

And promptly started crying all over again.

"Oh, sweet Jesus," Santana rolled her eyes before swinging herself into the car and hitting the gas as fast as possible.

...

Rachel was very aware of the irony of the fact that she was hiding in her closet in her attempt to block out the rest of the world.

Haha, universe. Very funny.

She had also succumbed to the lure of the ice cream in the freezer and was half sobbing-half blubbering into the empty container. The spoon was now resting on a stuffed animals nose that she couldn't identify due to it being far too dark in the aforementioned closet.

She was so frustrated with herself for not being able to trust her instinct about Quinn simply because she wanted to be with her so badly.

She was angry for crying in front of her…again.

But most of all, she was furious with herself for only wanting one thing at that moment to make her feel better…and that thing was Quinn.

It only made Rachel cry harder when she came to this conclusion. The conclusion that had been lurking in her head even as she ran out of the restaurant and in the opposite direction of the the cheerleader.

It was all she wanted. All the time. She wanted Quinn to hold her. Take care of her again, despite the fact that she was the person who was hurting her so much most of the time. She wanted Quinn to tell her that she loved her.

And she had.

But Rachel had run anyway.

An extra loud sob that she couldn't hold back escaped her throat and she slapped a hand over her mouth to keep her dads from coming in and asking what was wrong. She wasn't sure she could handle any more emotional conversations that night.

"Rachel?" her Daddy had evidently heard something and now seemed to have entered her room to investigate.

It took all Rachel's willpower to not throw open the door and launch herself into his arms, pleading with him to just make it better, but she succeeded and hesitated before clearing her throat.

"I'm…I'm in the closet!" she called, mentally reprimanding herself for how ridiculous it sounded.

"Um…okay? Why? Are you okay?" he suddenly sounded concerned.

"No, I'm fine, I was just looking for something," she called back. "I'll be down in a bit!"

"Okay…well if you need anything we'll be in the family room," he responded, sounding confused but more concerned for her mental stability than her emotional one.

"Great!" Rachel cheerfully replied before slumping back against the wall.

"…And Rachel?" her daddy called again. "You should really come out of there soon. It's not good for you…it must be awfully stuffy."

Rachel slapped her hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing out loud. If only he knew.

...

Quinn had finally managed to stop crying and instead was now sniffling quietly in the passengers seat. Santana was driving in silence, the radio playing quietly between them.

"Baby got back…"

Quinn suddenly snorted and Santana's head whipped around, her eyebrows quirked.

"Yes? You making fun of my song choice?" she questioned, turning back to the road. "Cuz you shouldn't be."

"No, I was just thinking…a heart to heart with your would have a soundtrack about girls' butts," Quinn said, laughing again and looking out the window.

"You know me Q," Santana smirked, turning down a street Quinn was pretty sure went nowhere. "But seriously, what's going on?"

Quinn's mouth slammed shut and she struggled not to burst into tears again.

In the time since leaving the restaurant, she had gone from furious to defensive to defeated to finally almost thankful…but terrified all the same.

Yet despite all of this, she suddenly wanted to tell someone about everything going on in her head. These weird feelings that she didn't understand and made he feel like she was doing something wrong. And who better to talk to than someone who might actually understand what she was feeling? Quinn was pretty sure Santana fit that category perfectly.

And so she tried to speak again, but she couldn't. It didn't matter that she wasn't entirely sure of what she was going to say because she was suddenly physically incapable of opening her mouth. Santana gave her a sidelong glance but for once in her life seemed to understand.

"So…at least tell me this," Santana finally spoke. "Is it just her, or is it in general?"

Quinn's face started to heat up and hot tears filled her eyes. She pictured walking into the locker room every day at practice and trying not to stare. She thought about how much she hated the showers. She thought about how much more she cared about there being an attractive girl in a movie than there being an attractive guy. She remembered the summer everyone bought their first bikinis and how she'd suddenly felt unexplainably …uncomfortable and embarrassed when she saw everyone at Santana's big pool party. She had been so self conscious in her own modest two-piece and it didn't help that everyone seemed to have such amazing figures. She had tried to convince herself that she was just jealous, and that was partially it…but that didn't explain why when one of the particularly pretty girls pulled her into the pool she'd become so flustered that she'd choked on pool water and refused to do anything but sit on the edge for the rest of the afternoon.

Yeah okay.

"Remember…that pool party you threw in seventh grade?" Quinn asked Santana hesitantly, and then stopped again, not sure what she was going to say next. When there was silence from the other side of the car Quinn wanted to hit herself for being so vague. Of course she doesn't you idiot, she's thrown like eight-hundred million –

"The one where Kayla pulled you into the pool and you almost drowned? If that was the same one where Brittany wore the suit with the ducks all over it and still somehow managed to look hot, then yes," Santana replied as she turned down yet another random street.

Of course Santana hadn't forgotten that.

"Yes – that one," Quinn responded with a small smile before her nerves got the best of her again.

She really wished her mouth would stop doing that clamping-shut-of-its-own-according thing it seemed to keep enjoying.

"Rachel wasn't at that party…" Santana prompted.

"Right," Quinn managed to get out.

"Right." Santana responded quietly and Quinn almost turned to raise an eyebrow before Santana suddenly slammed on the breaks. "Let's go Q."

"What?" Quinn looked around, not recognizing anything. She suddenly had the irrational fear that Santana was going to kill her for admitting she was gay. Wait what. She had not just admitted that.

Nope, not at all.

At the very least she wouldn't put it past the cheerleader to jump out of the car and proclaim to the world Quinn's new found status of "queer."

Fabray. Stop rambling. You're turning into Rachel.

"Just follow me," Santana had somehow managed to already end up on Quinn's side of the car and was yanking her out of it.

"Ouch – what the hell!" Quinn tried to mutter as Santana pulled her towards a little store they had parked in front of. Quinn hadn't even noticed it at first it was so inconspicuous. She also finally realized they were in the town over from Lima – she recognized a jewelry store her mom used to frequent across the street.

The bell on the door clinked and Quinn winced as the two cheerleaders walked into the small building and Quinn looked around wearily.

And then she suddenly found herself in front of a small but outrageously colorful display of rainbow…everything.

"Only place within a 50 mile radius of Lima that has any sort of gay shit." Santana was inspecting her nails.

"Really?" Quinn asked as she knelt down without thinking to look at everything. She was weirdly in awe and she wasn't sure why.

"Well, the only one I've ever seen," Santana replied with a smirk. "Now pick something Blondie, I'm buying."

Quinn had officially lost count of the number of times Santana had surprised her in the last hour.

"Umm…" she looked up in confusion.

"Just do it. Pick something just for you," Santana clarified. "No one has to see it, it's just…for you. Reminds you your not alone and of who you are and shit. It's what I did that summer a week after the pool party. Cept I was in her with my mom so I kind of snitched it…I figure paying for yours makes up for it or something."

Quinn had the sudden urge to throw her arms around her friend's neck and hug her for all she was worth – but she held back, knowing Santana would probably unintentionally punch her from the sudden amount of compassion she'd be receiving.

"What'd you buy?" she asked instead.

"Socks," Santana snorted. "They had less of a selection to choose from back in seventh grade."

At that Quinn couldn't resist and burst out laughing, imagining a thirteen year old Santana walking around with rainbow socks hiding in her sneakers. Santana smacked her in the back of the head and Quinn went back to perusing the selection, giggling as she went.

Ten minutes later they left the store, Quinn clutching a thin rainbow ring on a chain in her hand.

"Just don't forget to take it off before you change in the locker rook," Santana warned as they set off again for Lima. "You should've heard the crap I got for rainbow socks."


	8. Chapter 8

_I got something for you._

Rachel had retreated to her closet again after dinner and almost screamed the next morning when she awoke to her phone buzzing suddenly, lighting up the dark room and echoing against the walls.

She couldn't help squeaking aloud in surprise when she saw that it was from Quinn, however.

She got me something? What? Like a present? A present, right, more like a THANKS BUT NO SEE YOU LATER...

...Ahem. Yeah…so a present…But there was no occasion for…

Rachel ceased her mental babble and shook her head to clear it as she debated the pros and cons of texting Quinn back. To acknowledge her, or not to acknowledge her, that was the ques –

Screw it.

 _Why?_

A few seconds later Rachel's phone buzzed again.

_Because it's something I should've gotten you a long time ago._

Well. Rachel had to admit that her curiosity was peaked. Significantly. That didn't mean that years of Quinn ignoring her hadn't made her suspicious of her motives.

_This is all awfully suspicious considering last night, Quinn._

_I know. Can I come visit? Or would you rather come here?_

_I don't know Quinn._

_If you don't let me, I might have to do something drastic._

_Such as?_

Why was she encouraging this nonsense? And why didn't people just pick up the telephone anymore…

_Such as proclaiming my love for you for outside your window with song and dance, complete with rainbows and unicorns._

Rachel actually giggled at that. And then physically hit herself before pulling a poker face when she looked up to find what seemed to be several of her stuffed animals judging her for being so easily swayed.

_Well, I'm waiting._

_…Okay. Well, on second thought, I may have spent all of last night doing nothing but panicking and pacing in my room, so I didn't have time to choreograph a song and dance number. I can attempt to provide the unicorns though…and I can definitely promise you rainbows._

Rachel didn't respond right away and a few seconds later a second text came through.

_I was serious about the rainbows. Please?_

After a pause that seemed to drag on forever but was in reality only a minute, Rachel glared once more at a particular bunny who seemed take personal offense at her compliance before she hit a few keys and sent Quinn a text back.

_Okay. Half an hour. My room._

PRESUMPTUOUS MUCH BERRY? Rachel berated herself and then audibly screamed when she realized she'd given herself less than half an hour to shower, change and attempt to make her room look presentable all before calmly awaiting Quinn's arrival.

For once in her life, Rachel regretted being an overachiever.

...

_My room._

Quinn didn't think she could possibly be more nervous than she already was, but when had she ever been right about these things, really.

Hello. Repressed lesbian. Yeah. Okay.

She had prepared herself to be ready to do whatever Rachel asked the second she asked it and was therefore already dressed, hair done to the best of her crazed ability, car keys in hand and wallet in her lap.

Along with a small box she was also bringing with her.

At the thought of what she was about to do Quinn suddenly stood up, unceremoniously dropping everything on the floor before beginning to hyperventilate all over again. A picture that still sat on her bookshelf caught her eye for the umpteenth time and Quinn had the same flashback to the one and only trip to the beach she had ever taken with Rachel.

"Quinn?" a seven-year-old Rachel asked from underneath the huge floppy hat she was wearing. The two of them were lying on their towels in the sun, a little ways away from Rachel and her fathers.

"Yeah?" Quinn asked lazily from where she had been studying a seagull stealing one particularly annoying family's snacks over and over again.

"Where did you get your ring?"

Quinn looked down, not expecting the question. On her ring finger on her right hand was a small gold ring with a tiny heart surrounded by two smaller hearts, and in the center of the biggest heart was an even tinier diamond.

"My mom gave it to me," she answered, watching the way the diamond glinted in the sun. She knew it was a big deal she had such a fancy ring. Not every seven year old could wear something so special, her father had said. "She said that it was to remind me that she loved me, no matter what."

Rachel lay in silence, staring at her best friend as Quinn's face fell slightly.

What she hadn't told Rachel yet was how her parents fought, constantly. How scary her daddy could be. How her mother didn't always stand up for Quinn anymore, now that she was getting older.

How hard she squeezed the ring at night when she cried in the dark because it was the only thing that really did sometimes remind her that her mommy loved her, no matter what.

But Rachel seemed to understand anyway. That was how Rachel was. And part of why Quinn knew she loved her best friend.

Rachel reached out and gently trailed her finger across the ring before bringing it back to rest under her chin.

"Someday, when we're grown up, I'm going to get you a ring to remind you that I will always love you, no matter what," she had sighed, closing her eyes as she put her head down again, leaving Quinn to turn back to the seagull.

But she wasn't really watching it anymore. She kept thinking over and over again in her head that Rachel didn't need to buy her anything to remind her of that.

Instead, the thought that kept repeating itself following the previous one was – no, I have to get one for you.

...

Rachel had alerted her dads to the fact that a blond cheerleader was going to be making her appearance at the Berry household within the next few minutes before immediately rushing up the stairs to appear when Quinn arrived as if she were entirely unconcerned about the whole matter. Her fathers waited with solemn faces until she had rounded the corner to her room before high fiving each other and secretly hoping that Quinn had finally, after all these years, come to her senses and decided to stop being such a…well, for lack of a better word, bitch.

That didn't mean they weren't going to attempt to scare the beegeezes out of her when she showed up at their front door.

And this was why they would end up disappointed and Rachel absolutely petrified when Quinn Fabray scaled the large, rather conveniently located tree outside of Rachel's bedroom window before turning what was meant to be a polite tap on the window into a severe pounding when a crow had a near collision with the side of her face.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked frantically, trying to inspect every aspect of Quinn's face that she could reach as Quinn clambered through the window, wiping at her head as she went as if to brush off any lingering crow.

"I had no idea they were so…easily offended," Quinn muttered as she finally managed to pull her entire body into the room. "All I did was make some crack about "quoth the raven" when he cawed in my face."

"Quinn, that was obviously a crow, I would be offended too!" Rachel responded indignantly. Quinn turned to look at her incredulously.

"His dignity almost cost me my life!" she yelped. Rachel huffed and then went to sit down on her bed.

"Well it seems you've both managed to survive such a traumatizing ordeal," she remarked as she folded her legs and set her hands down primly on them.

This seemed to remind Quinn of where she was which, much to her dismay, signaled to her hands to immediately start to sweat and her feet to refuse to move any farther into the room.

"Umm…right," she mumbled before wiping her palms on her jeans. "So…hi."

"Hello," Rachel responded, more quietly and less assertively this time. She opened her mouth as if to say more but closed it abruptly before Quinn had time to gather together much more of her courage.

"So." Quinn repeated and then realized it was now or never. If she waited any longer she was going to run sprinting out of Rachel's house and never hold her head up again. Just do it Fabray. Do it for the fucking love of your life.

A lot less eloquently than planned out in her head, Quinn chucked her bag on the floor before following it down and after rummaging momentarily produced the tiny red box she had gone back to the store for.

She stood again only to take two steps closer and then, deciding falling to her knees was too dramatic, grabbed Rachel's hand and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Okay. I had an awesome speech planned out that I'm pretty sure I've reworked at least twelve times in the last six hours but now I've completely forgotten it all because I'm so nervous and I love you so much and I'm so scared you're not going to believe me and so before I keep word vomiting I want to give you this," Quinn pushed the box into Rachel's hands, her face flushed. "Open it."

Rachel tore her eyes away from Quinn's face to look down at the tiny box now in her possession. She suddenly couldn't remember how you open a box.

So Quinn did it for her.

Sitting on top of the a white cushion sat a silver ring of tiny stars, each with a different color of the rainbow filling in the middle.

"It…I mean…if you don't like it…they had more, but this one was just so you…and I have one too, but mine's different…see?" Quinn stumbled over her words but managed to pull the ring on the chain out from underneath her t-shirt and held it up for Rachel to see.

And Rachel was still speechless. And Quinn's nerves were going into overdrive.

"Because…Rachel, because I love you. I've known since we were six years old that I cared about you just as much as I still do now. Back then it was scary but suddenly we grew up and it was terrifying. And confusing and stupid because it shouldn't be terrifying, it should be amazing and special and not hurt so goddamn much all the time. Every night should feel like that night under the stars in my room where I knew that I'd fallen for you. It was exhilarating and just a little bit overwhelming but so safe. You make me feel so safe and all I've ever wanted is to make you feel safe, and loved, all the time. I tried so hard, dumping that stupid kid in trashcans for a year and fighting off anyone who got in your way but I can't do enough when I have to pretend I don't care. I can't. And I don't want to anymore. I never wanted to, but I'm going to be brave enough to quit hiding now. It's probably going to get me kicked off the Cheerios. My parents are probably going to hate me. And I don't give a shit. None of those people know me. None of those people are going to care past high school, when our lives really begin and we leave this place. You deserve so much more than the person I've given you for all these years. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you're loved every second of every single day of your life because there is no one who is as amazing as you are."

She was out of breath and on the edge of her seat, literally, when Rachel finally looked up.

"The beach?" she replied, and there were tears in her eyes.

"The beach," Quinn breathed, unconsciously squeezing her own ring against her chest.

"Quinn…" Rachel reached up slowly and pulled the blonde's hand gently until it was no longer grasping the ring, her tone cautious.

Quinn's heart fell so fast she barely registered that only moments before she had been on a cloud.

"You don't need to do that anymore," Rachel said quietly. All Quinn could do was stare.

"What?" she gasped, finally remembering how to use words.

Rachel studied the ring she held in her hand for another second before slipping it onto her own ring finger. She then took Quinn's hands in hers to hold them tightly before a smile started to creep across her face.

"I've always loved you, and I will always love you," Rachel whispered. "But just to make sure, I'm telling you now. You have someone who will always love you too, Quinn Fabray, no matter what…and that person is me."

With the words barely off the tip of her tongue Rachel gently brought her lips to Quinn's and kissed her softly and more passionately than she had ever had the guts to do before.

And Quinn remembered the beach.

She remembered the stars.

She remembered the stupid bushes that didn't hide normal sized people next to her house.

And she remembered the blacktop.

The blacktop where she fell for the love of her life.

...

:D


End file.
